My Quote Collection

Book Quotes

• There are no safe paths in this part of the world. Remember you are over the Edge of the Wild now, and in for all sorts of fun wherever you go.
  The Hobbit
  J.R.R.Tolkien

• Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!!
  The Hobbit
  J.R.R. Tolkien

• I don't know half of you half as well as I sould like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
  The Fellowship of the Ring
  J.R.R. Tolkien

• I am the way into the city of woe.
  I am the way to a forsaken people.
  I am the way into eternal sorrow.

  Sacred justice moved my architect.
  I was raised here by divine omnipotence,
  primordial love and ultimate intelligence.

  Only those elements time cannot wear
  Were made before me, and beyonde time I stand.
  Abandon all hope ye who enter here.

  The Inferno, Divine Comedy
  Dante Alighieri
  (as translated by John Ciardi)

• "Illustrious and most fortunate scion of a fortunate family," Dupaynil said, "it is my unlucky fate to be at the mercy of admirals."
  Generation Warriors
  Anne McCaffrey, Elizabeth Moon, Jody Lynn Nye

• A body at rest tends to remain at rest, unless acted upon by an outside force. She had never thought of Newton as a psychologist before.
  Fallen Angels
  Larry Niven, Jerry Pournelle, Michael Flynn

• "In pride, in reas'ning pride, our error lies;
  All quit their sphere and rush into the skies!
  Aspiring to be Gods if Angels fell,
  Aspiring to be Angels men rebel."
  Fallen Angels
  Larry Niven, Jerry Pournelle, Michael Flynn

• ...Sherrine grinned and made a rainbow ring. "A lot of my mundane friends," she said to Alex, "think that explaining a phenomenon 'ruins the magic'. I think the explanations just make it more magical than before. 'Danes live in a world where everything happens on the surface; where everything is a symptom - like the rainbows. But a cloud of microscopic crystal prisms is as magical as an unexplained rainbow any day."
  Fallen Angels
  Larry Niven, Jerry Pournelle, Michael Flynn

• The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.
  As You Like It
  William Shakespeare

• As I said, I found this combination of unreality and hazard immensely appealing, and indeed it gave me a lasting taste for what is called Intelligence (which is not to be confused with Wisdom, being, in fact, often completely devoid of sense).
  The Beekeeper's Apprentice
  Laurie R. King

• There are no explanations for human evil. Only excuses.
  Intensity
  Dean Koontz

• Picture every building in Chicago covered with scarlet paint on one side. A nuclear war game.
  Madness Has Is Place
  Larry Niven

• In strange ways hard to know gods come to men. Many a thing past hope they have fulfilled, and what was looked for went another way. A path we never thought to tread God found for us. So has this come to pass.
  Mythology
  Edith Hamilton

• "We all serve, however, and I'm sure that God appreciates your efforts, no matter how dishonest or depraved."
  The Diamond Throne
  David Eddings

• Most cultures have understood that some are more equal than others. There were those who would not go to the stars, and there were those we would not take.
  Captain Arnold Cohen aboard Argos, during negotiation
  Destiny's Road
  Larry Niven

• Put not your trust in the princes of this world, for they will frig thee up and so shalt their governments, even unto the end of the earth.
  The Stand
  Stephen King

• Americans, while occasionally willing to be serfs, have always been obstinate about being peasantry.
  The Great Gatsy
  F. Scott Fitzgerald

• " Dream or reality? The experience is the same is it not? "
  Michael Moorcock

• "Whoever reads this, if any remain to read it, weep for us who have no more tears.
  "Pray for us who are damned alive."
  A Strike at Shayol Ghul
  Robert Jordan

• Faith is that faculty which enables us to believe things which we know to be untrue.
  Dracula
  Bram Stoker

Song Quotes

• You wanna hear about my new obsession? I'm riding high upon a deep depression. I'm only happy when it rains.
  I'm Only Happy When It Rains, Garbage

• This is what he pays me for. I'll show you how it's done. You learn to love the pain you feel. Like father like son. The queerest of the queer. High inside your head. The blindest of the blind. The deadest of the dead. You're hungry cause you starve while holding back the tears. Choking on your smile. A fate behind the fear. The queerest of the queer.
  Queer
  Garbage

• You pretend you're high. You pretend you're bored. You pretend you're anything just to be adored. But what you need is what you get.
  Stupid Girl
  Garbage

• This is the noise that keeps me awake. My head explodes and my body aches.
  Push It
  Garbage

• What have we done with innocence? It disappeared with time and never made much sense.
  Monkeywrench, Foo Fighters

• Don't drink the water. There's blood in the water. Don't drink the water.
  Don't Drink the Water, Dave Matthews Band.

• It's you that I adore. You will always be my whore.
  Ava Adore, Smashing Pumpkins

• And in this world there's a whole lot of golden
  In this world there's a whole lot of plain
  In this world you've a soul for a compass
  And a heart for a pair of wings
  There's a star on the far horizon
  Rising bright in an azure sky
  For the rest of the time that you're given
  Why walk when you can fly high?
  Why Walk When You Can Fly
  Mary Chapen Carpenter

• Some say the end is near. Some say we'll see Armageddon soon. I certainly hope we will. I sure could use a vacation. . .
  Aenema, Tool

• Spent my life looking for
  Happiness like it was buried treasure
  Somewhere behind a secret door
  Surely there were riches beyond measure

  I would take my sanity to task,
  Walk across broken glass, to find it
  And no mountain top was left unclimbed
  Before I ever took the time to look inside me

  Chorus:
  These dreams of mine
  These precious years
  Oh how they shine
  Like diamonds and tears

  The slow grace of time
  The joy and the fears
  Oh how they shine
  Like diamonds and tears

  Oh sure there was love
  And of course I thought he'd be my salvation
  And in a way I guess he was
  There's always room for higher education

  Yes, I have said and heard the word goodbye
  Felt the blade and turned the knife- sideways
  But I'd cross bridges while they burn
  To keep from losin' what I've learned- along the way

  Repeat Chorus

  Diamonds and Tears
  Suzy Bogguss

• There's a valley of sorrow in my soul
  Where every night I hear the thunder roll
  Like the sound of a distant gun
  Over all the damage I have done
  And the shadows filling up this land
  Are the ones I built with my own hand
  There is no comfort from the cold
  Of this valley of sorrow in my soul.

  There's a river of darkness in my blood
  And thru every vein I feel the flood
  I can find no bridge for me to cross
  No way to bring back what is lost
  Into the night it soon will sweep
  Down where all my grievances I keep
  But it won't wash away the years
  Or one single hard and bitter tear

  And the rock of ages I have known
  Is a weariness down in the bone
  I use to ride it like a rolling stone
  Now I just carry it alone

  There's a highway risin' from my dreams
  Deep in the heart I know it gleams
  For I have seen it stretching wide
  Clear across to the other side
  Beyond the river and the flood
  And the valley where for so long I've stood
  With the rock of ages in my bones
  Someday I know it will lead me home

  Prayer in Open D
  Emmylou Harris

Other Type Quotes

• Doing my part to piss off the radical right.

• Doing my part to piss off the religious right.

• If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention.

• The media are only as liberal as the conservative businesses that own them.

• Equal rights are not special rights.

• I expect paragraphs that have more than one sentence and sentences that have verbs.
  Diane Meyer (my Chemistry/Physics teacher)

• Dare to think for yourself

• If you can't trust me with a choise, how can you truse me with a child?

• My Goddess gave birth to your God.

• Guns don't kill people. Radical Pro-Lifers kill people.

• Humans aren't the only species on Earth--we only act like it.

• Flowcharting is for wimps.
  April Lyall

• "Even my own interpretation of what I was doing is open to interpretation, in this case!"
  Micahael Moorcock

• "Go ahead and let people think you thought it up yourself. Quoted people usually have images of their own. You're the one that needs to look sophisticated."
  April Lyall (me)

• "Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."
  Samuel Palmer

• "Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip."
  HomerSimpson

• The Fascist Procrastinators Club: they want to rule the world, but they'll never get around to doing it.

• A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

• Forgive your enemies but never forget their names.
  John F. Kennedy

• "Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
  H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927

• God was reading the Bible just the other day, and boy was he puzzled.

• Our condolences to everyone who has been killed by an Ornithopter.

• "Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake."
  Svielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (Chessmaster)

• I don't need drugs; life has screwed me up enough already.

• Yngvi is a louse!!

• Teenage sex isn't stupid. Teenagers are.

• "Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
  Napoleon Bonaparte

• There is nothing more annoying in this world than a drunk preppy.

• Fascist Nazi Bastard
  Joey Yniguez

• "I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better."
  A.J. Liebling

• "This is a math class. We block out reality in here."
  Doug Versaeval (my math teacher)

• I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

• "If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"
  Will Rogers

• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

• There was a little girl, and she had a little curl
  Right in the middle of her forehead;
  When she was good, she was very, very good,
  But when she was bad, she was horrid.

• "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
  Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943

• "Actually, No"
  Matthew Tomlinson

• "I think it would be a good idea."
  Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization

• Dana Scully, upon asked to do another autopsy at 8pm:
  "What do you mean you want me to do another autopsy? Why do we have to do it right now? I just spent hours on my feet doing an autopsy all for you.....I do it all for you Mulder. You know I haven't eaten since eight o'clock this morning. And all that was except for half a cream cheese bagel, and it wasn't even real cream cheese. It was light cream cheese....What the hell happened to you?"
  The X-Files

• "There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal."
  Sigfried Hulzer

• All men are created equal... unless you are talking about college tuition.

• When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

• If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

• "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
  Albert Einstein

• If a vegetarion is someone who eats vegetables, what does that make a humanitarian?

• "What's so French about toast slapped around in eggs?"
  Matt Kroeger

• Oh look; it's a twit with a wit
  I Know What You Did Last Summer

• "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
  Albert Einstein

• Tennis is the only game in which love means nothing.

• Ignorance is the root of misfortune.

• Tell the girls at the dance that you can solve inequality equations; that will impress the damsels!

• "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
  Galileo Galilei

• Christians and Republicans and Nazis, Oh my!
  Christians and Republicans and Nazis, Oh my!

• "The average person thinks he isn't."
  Father Larry Lorenzoni

• Magic takes time.
  Zulu proverb

• Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

• Teen is a four letter word
  

• "This book fills a much-needed gap."
  Moses Hadas in a review

• Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.

• I was gay before it was trendy

• "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
  Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

• "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
  Abraham Lincoln

• "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
  Tom Clancy

• "His ignorance is encyclopedic"
  Abba Eban

• "People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
  Soren Aabye Kierdegaard

• "Give me chastity and continence, but not yet."
  Saint Augustine

• "I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have."
  Thomas Jefferson

• Self-righteousness is one of the most common - and least attractive - characteristics of man.

• "I not only think that we will tamper with Mother Nature, I think Mother wants us to."
  Willard Gatlin

• Do not speak of a rhinoceros if there is no tree nearby.
  Zulu proverb

• The path does not close on a man with a machete.
  Yoruba proverb

• "Assassins!"
  Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra

• Atheism is a nonProphet organization

• "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."
  Niccolo Machiavelli, "The Prince"

• I'm not crazy; everyone else is, and they all want to steal my magic powers.

• For every problem there is a simple, neat solution - that is wrong.

• "I'll moider da bum."
  Tony Galento (Heavyweight boxer), when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare

• And on the eighth day God created duct tape.

• "Magick is the science and art of causing change to occur in conformity with will."
  Magick in theory and practice
  Aleister Crowley

• "In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is."
  Jan L.A. van de Snepsheut

• The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.

• "I never let school get in the way of my education."
  Mark Twain

• "They say the first thing to go when you're old is your legs or you eyesight. It isn't true. The first thing to go is parallel parking."
  Kurt Vonnegut

• "The President has kept all of the promises he intended tokeep."
  George Stephanopolous (Clinton aide) speaking on Larry King Live

• If ignorance is bliss why isn't everybody happy?

• There's more ways to futter a cat than just to stuff its head in a sea boot.

• "Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
  H. G. Wells

• "Don't know what I want but I know how to get it."
  Johnny Rotten

• The toughest time... in anyone's life... is when you have to kill a loved one just because they're the devil.

• Mental Floss prevents Moral decay.

• I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

• Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

• "I'll sleep when I'm dead."
  Warren Zevon

• Please don't be so open minded that your brains fall out.

• No matter how pretty she is, someone, somewhere, is sick of her.

• "The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, they finish by loading honors on your head."
  Jean Cocteau

• "There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."
  Flannery O'Connor

• "I admit to reading bestsellers. I'm an outcast in all social circles."
  April Lyall

• Never pull your punches; never sugarcoat the truth. What you don't know can hurt you bad.

• The final frontier in civil rights is not equal rights for homosexuals, but equal rights for extraterrestrials.

• "Wit is educated insolence."
  Aristotle

• "A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."
  Gore Vidal

• "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
  Sir Winston Churchill

• "Now,now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
  Voltaire on his deathbed in response to priest asking that he renounce Satan.

• "He would make a lovely corpse."
  Charles Dickens

• "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
  Irvin S. Cobb

• "I worship the quicksand he walks in."
  Art Buchwald

• "Wagner's music is better than it sounds."
  Mark Twain

• "Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis."
  Pierre Laplace, to Napoleon to explain why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God.

• "The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them."
  Mark Twain

• "Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."
  Wernher Von Braun

• "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
  Albert Einstein

• "Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
  Bertrand Russell

• "Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny."
  Guy Davenport

• "When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."
  Sir Winston Churchill

• "Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."
  Sir Winston Churchill

• "The opposit of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth."
  Niels Bohr

• Human beings cannot live without illusion.
  

• "In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in peotry, it's the exact opposite."
  Paul Dirac

• "I would have made a good Pope."
  Richard M. Nixon

• "Grove giveth and Gates taketh away."
  Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep up with software demands

• "What do you take me for, an idiot?"
  General Charles de Gaulle, when a journalist asked him if he was happy

• "I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon."
  Bill Hirst

• "It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
  George Bernard Shaw

• "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it."
  Moses Hadas

• "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
  Groucho Marx

• Ferengi rule of acquisition #76:
  Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of you enemies.

• "When ideas fail, words come in very handy."
  Goethe

• "You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
  Yogi Berra

• "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known."
  Walt Disney

• "He who hesitates is a damned fool."
  Mae West

• "University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small."
  Henry Kissinger

• "The graveyards are full of indispensable men."
  Charles de Gaulle

• "I am not young enough to know everything."
  Oscar Wilde

• "The object of war is to to die for you country but to make the other bastard die for his."
  General George Patton

• "Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis."
  Ralph Waldo Emerson

• "Manuscript: something sumitted in haste and returned at leisure."
  Oliver Hertford

• "I have read your book and much like it."
  Moses Hadas

• "The covers of this book are too far apart."
  Amborse Bierce

• "Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them."
  Flannery O'Connor

• "Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end."
  Igor Stravinsky

• "Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung."
  Voltaire

• "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."
  Mae West

• "I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to."
  Elvis Presley

• "Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
  Carl Gustav Jung

• "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
  Abraham Lincoln

• "Hell is other people."
  Jean-Paul Sartre

• "Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
  Ingrid Bergman

• "You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
  Al Capone

• "There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem."
  George Bernard Shaw

• "Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure."
  Ross MacDonald

• "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."
  Woody Allen

• "Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives."
  Abba Eban

• "Imitation is the sincerest form of television."
  Fred Allen

• "Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers."
  T. S. Eliot

• "Criticism is prejudice made plausible."
  Henry Louis Menchen

• "Never mistake motion for action."
  Ernest Hemingway

• "Hell is paved with good samaritans."
  William M. Holden

• "Silence is argument carried out by other means."
  Ernesto "Che" Guevara

Poems

• A word is dead
  When it is said,
  Some say.

  I say it just
  Begins to live
  That day.

  Emily Dickinson

• A door just opened on a street-
  I, lost, was passing by,-
  An instants width of warmth disclosed,
  And wealth, and company.

  The door as sudden shut, and I,
  I, lost, was passing by,-
  Lost doubly, but by contrast most,
  Enlightening misery.

  Emily Dickinson

• Jabberwocky
  Lewis Carroll

  'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
  All mimsy were the borogroves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe.

  "Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
  The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
  Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
  The frumious Bandersnatch!"

  He took his vorpal sword in hand;
  Long time the manxome foe he sought-
  So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
  And stood awhile in thought.

  And, as in uffish thought he stood,
  The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
  Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
  And burbled as it came!

  One, two! One, two! And through and through
  The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
  He left it dead, and with its head
  He went galumphing back.

  "And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
  Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
  O frabjous day! Callooh, Callay!"
  He chortled in his joy.

  'Twas brillig, and slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
  All mimsy were the borogroves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe.