The Tor Glue Theory


You all know the problem. I'd like to tell you why the problem exists:

Obviously, our world is also on the Wheel and directly related to Randland, though we are, also obviously, in a different age. Who would deny this? In Randland the Dark One is escaping, which also means he is escaping in all worlds on the Wheel. This includes us! We are currently traipsing along, thinking nothing of the Dark One, very few of us even thinking he really exists. No one realizes what is about to descend on our heads! No one, that is, except Robert Jordan (and me, but that's beside the point). The Dark One is coming, and you're all ignoring the evidence! You all have seen this evidence I speak of on your bookshelves and the shelves of you local library! What is wrong with you? Why can't you see!

I'm sorry. Allow me to collect myself and start over....

The Dark One is about to break free on to our world, and unless people get their act together and start fighting the coming of the Dark One there is nothing to prevent his control. Without the knowledge that the Dark One is coming and the knowledge of how to fight the Dark One, the human race is doomed. This knowledge is the only thing that could stop the Dark One, and the only person spreading that knowledge is Robert Jordan. There is no need to mention that the Dark One doesn't like the fact that this knowledge is being spread by Robert Jordan (but I mentioned it anyway).

The seals are weakening. The Dark One's power is growing. And he's using that power to fight what might stop him in any way he can. He's using that power to fight the spread of The Wheel of Time series. His efforts include Darkfriend critics who pan every new book, bookstore owners who don't carry the books, sudden fires, and the strange misplacement by servers of files containing this theory and theorys like it (this is the fourth time I've had to rewrite it). The most widespread of his efforts are on the glue used by Tor books. It is as a result of the Dark One's diabolical scheme that our books are falling apart much earlier than they should. Every person who is forced to throw away their copy of The Eye of the World after having only read it one-and-a-half times is a victim of this scheme. That, and Tor's need for greater profits (cheaper glue, and you have to buy the book again). Now that you know what is going on, it is up to you to fight back! Rally behind me, my friends!



Home